Helping the Wife Around the Home

Helping Your Wife with the Affairs of the House (i.e.: Housework) Allaah (tabaaraka WA ta'ala) says: "Help one another in taqwaa and piety." Many men think it is beneath them (or undermines their status as a man) to help in the house and do anything to assist their wives. One of the wives of the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu `alayhi wasallam) said: "The Messenger of Allaah used to sew his own clothes and mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their own homes." (Reported by Ahmad, Authenticated by al-Albaanee in al-Jaami' #4927) Likewise, `Aa'ishah (radiAllaahu anhaa) was asked about the Prophet (salAllaahu `alayhi wasallam) and what he used to do in his house. Her response described what she herself had seen and she said: "He would clean his clothes and milk his own cows and serve himself." And in another narration she said: "He did what any other man would do." And in another narration she said: "He was like any other human being." So how many men would be a few steps away from the kitchen but would still call his wife from another room and wait for her to go into the kitchen and get something as small as a glass of water for him. It is the duty of the wife to serve her husband but at the same time the husband would get so much reward if he was one who did some things for his wife. Benefits from Helping Your Wife: 1. It develops love between the husband and the wife. 2. It gives the wife a break from the housework. 3. It makes the difficulties easy on her. 4. It sets a good example for the children. 5. She will respect her husband by this. 6. He will be following the Sunnah and implementing the example of the Prophet (salAllaahu `alayhi wasallam). 7. It is a sadaqah. 8. It shows that you are humble and not arrogant since arrogance is one of the pillars of kufr. Ibnul-Qayyim (rahimahullaah) said: "The pillars of kufr are four and one of them is arrogance." So if a man sweeps the floor or washes the dishes without his wife asking him to help this would help to destroy this arrogance. Re-Evaluating the Woman's Work Outside of the Home Negative aspects of a woman working outside the home include: 1. Things that are forbidden in Islaam are more likely to occur, such as mixing with men, being alone with men and working/being friends with them, showing adornment to strangers, etc. This can ultimately lead to immoral conduct and it is quite possible that this will occur. 2. Not giving the husband and children their rights and neglecting the house. 3. Undermining the feeling in some women's minds that the husband is the protector and maintainer (qawaamah). Sometimes if you have a woman who has higher qualifications than her husband and is making more than him she will be less submissive and less humble. If you can find a situation where the husband has paid for everything in the house most of the time you will find a wife who there will never be any problems with. If the wife can look at everything in the house and know that everything has been purchased by her husband, she will be very submissive. Allaah (Azzawajall) says: "The male is not like the female." So the woman in general is a submissive creature and if you don't take care of her she will become less submissive, but if she is taken care of she will be extremely submissive to the husband. 4. Physical and psychological exhaustion and pressure which doesn't befit the nature of the woman. The nature of the woman is to be in a situation which is tranquil and calm so that she can take the pressure off the husband when he comes from dealing with all of the fitnah outside. If she has to deal with the fitnah of the world just like the husband it will also have a negative effect because she will be just as tired. Questions & Answers 1. Can the woman recite the Qur'aan and the names of Allaah and make du'aa when she is on her menses? Yes. There are many `ulema who say it is not permissible but the strongest proof is in the position that it is permissible. 2. When the husband leaves his home is he obligated to tell his wife where he is going and if he doesn't, does she have the right to ask him this? He does not have the obligation of informing her but she should definitely know where he's going so that if she needs to get in contact with him she can. She has the right to ask but she also has the right to be given the answer that "I don't want to tell you where I am going right now but I will be back in whatever amount of time." This is for the brother who is straightforward and is not trying to hide anything from his wife. 3. Is it permissible for the non-Muslim father (ie: a Shi'ah) to be the walee over his daughter? This is not permissible. Allaah (Azzawajall) says: "They are walees for one another." Also, He says: "Allaah will never give the disbelievers a way over the believers." So a kuffaar man cannot be a walee for a Muslim girl. 4. Is it permissible for the Muslim woman to make Hijrah without a mahram? Yes, if she doesn't have a mahram. In general she cannot travel without a mahram but as for making hijrah she can go if she doesn't have a mahram. 5. If the woman does not have a walee, who should be her walee? (Answered by Shaykh Yahyah an-Najmee) If a woman does not have a walee then the walee is the Islaamic authority. The Islaamic authority (Imaam of the masjid, etc) is the walee and it can also be any trustworthy or noble man that can take the position of walee for that woman. Bismillah ir Rahman ir Rahim All praise is for Allah, Lord of all creation. And may the salaat and salaam be upon Allah's Messenger, his family, companions and true followers. To proceed... As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh Umm Asiana Anisah Bint Rick Rellosa nj, usa Imaam Muhammad ibn Idrees ash-Shaafi'ee (rahimahullah), said, "Knowledge is not what is memorised, but what benefits." Reported in Hilyatul-Awliyaa' of Abu Nu'aym (9/123).